I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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