i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
