Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
