I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
