I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
