exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
