You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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