so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
