Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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