I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
