The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I am mentally ready for anal.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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