just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
