everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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