he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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