that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
