dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
