doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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