I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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