I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
