new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
