Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.

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(415): View more from California

How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome

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(402): View more from Nebraska

mmm whisky

(402): View more from Nebraska

reminds me of losing my job

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(703): View more from Virginia

does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.

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(835): View more from Pennsylvania

The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving

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(630): View more from Illinois

And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!

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(817): View more from Texas

He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.

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