Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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