If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
