And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
