Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
