My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
