It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I cannot find my penis.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
