You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
