oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You may now shotgun with the bride
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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