I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
