I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
