Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
