His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Apparently you make a good broom.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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