How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
