fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
it's like heaven, but drunker
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
