I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
