so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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