You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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