i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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