I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
