jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
