Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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