just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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