Got a toothbrush?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
