There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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