Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
