i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
