Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
