I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You were trust falling into bushes
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
