He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
