I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Randomize
