i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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