took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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